Art by elisaann
NaBloPoMo, I’m still in you. And getting grateful all month long with BecominNeurotic. This edition of Friday Fluff was inspired by our OG benefactor, Lisa from EmptyTheWell. Today I’m grateful for fluff. It’s fun, it’s light and there are bonus points for handjob references. It’s a calm harbor in the rough sea of life, to quote every Lifetime movie ever made. Do it. You’ll love every minute of it. That’s what she said.
How did you get one of your scars?
Doling out handjobs on the mean streets.
How did you celebrate your last birthday?
I honestly do not remember. Probably at Mama Mia’s and a movie because that’s kind of my MO. I do remember my mom’s group had a fondue party around that time and gave me a huge bag of Tootsie Rolls and a gift certificate for a pedicure. My friends are nice.
How are you feeling at this moment?
Fine. Which is saying something.
How did your night go last night?
Pretty good, how about yours?
How did you do in high school?
The part that I went to? I got good grades, if that’s what you’re after. Emotionally, I was Ally Sheedy from The Breakfast Club.
How did you get the shirt you’re wearing?
I ordered it from Etsy.
How often do you see ur best friend?
Every week. Girls night, bb.
How much money did you spend last month?
I’m gonna go with too much.
How old do you want to be when you get married?
How old will you be at your next birthday?
Your mothers name?
Her original name was Janet, but she hated it because she was named after the babysitter so she changed it to Rosemary after her grandmother and mother. Fun fact: I also changed my name from Kristina to Joules. I’m assuming my kid will eventually change his name too. Hopefully to Batman.
What did you do last weekend?
Swimming, Newt Day, Free Birds and cleaned up a mountain of toys and clothes that Bub and his bestie piled in front of the bestie’s door so that Bub would be forced to spend the night. Which was all good until Bub had to pee. It took three fully grown adults to extract two smallish kids from the room. Totally worth the thirty minutes of peace and adult conversation too.
What is the most important part of your life?
Making your Fridays fluffy
What would you rather be doing?
What did you last cry over?
What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
Talking to someone else about their lives/issues. Sleep. Cadbury mini eggs. Hugs from Bub.
What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
Compatibility in teevee viewing habits.
What are you worried about?
Yer mom. And the state of the union, the environment, the rapidly increasing human population, war, hunger, unemployment, money, the rains down in Africa, Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland, global warming, the price of tea in China, Miley Cyrus, why CBS is the #1 television station, what’s going to happen to Carol now that Rick gave her the boot, that the zombie apocalypse will happen, that the zombie apocalypse won’t happen and yer face.
What did you have for breakfast?
Lunch. Today was not a great day in land of Depression.
EIGHT HAVE YOU’S:
Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
I almost exclusively like such people. But, more often than not, they’re fictional.
Have you ever had your heartbroken?
Yes. By the 2004 election results. Imma slash your tires and send a fetish prostitute to your house in return, America.
Have you ever been out of the country?
Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
Almost exclusively between the ages of 12 and now.
Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
Dude, I was totally stabbed in the ankle as a kid and I still have the scar. Scar twins.
Have you ever had sex on the beach?
The drink and the act are both for highschoolers. So, yes.
Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
Who was the last person you saw?
Who was the last person you texted?
Who was the last person you hungout with?
Hope and Veronica. Also, their kids, but that was more hiding from than hanging out with.
Who was the last person to call you?
My mom. Yesterday. Probably should call her back. Derp.
Who did you last hug?
Who is the last person who texted you?
Who was the las person you said “i love you” to?
Where does your best friend live?
Where did you last go?
To help Veronica with her argumentative essay.
Where did you last hang out?
At Hope and Veronica’s. Jeez. Obsessed much?
Where do you go to school?
Balls Out University
Where is your favorite place to be?
At home. Or Hawaii.
Where did you sleep last night?
In my bed. What am I, a highschooler?
Do you like someone right now?
Eh, he’s alright.
Do you think anyone likes you?
Do you ever wish you were someone else?
Do you know the muffin man?
I am the muffin man.
Does the future scare you?
Not really. But the present is fucking terrifying.
Why are you best friends with your best friend(s)?
“Being in a relationship, that’s something you choose. Being friends, that’s just something you are. [But] I do pick you. We’ve been friends too long to pick, but if we could pick, I’d pick you.”
Why did you get a myspace?
Holy fuck, when did I get a myspace?
Why did your parents give you the name you have?
They didn’t. They gave me the name Kristina. My mom says I told it to her before I was born. I told her best quality viagra it must have been a wrong number and changed my name to Joules. After this chick. Kind shows you where I was in my twenties.
Why are you doing this survey?
Because I copy everything that Lisa does. It’s easier than having original thoughts.
If you could have one super power what would it be??
This is a constant topic of conversations I have with myself. I would really want to go with flight, but being realistic, I’d have to choose the ability to freeze time. Logic, yo.
If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
That sounds like a lot of work.
If u were stranded on a deserted island & could bring 1 thing what would you bring?
Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
No. I’m more the never-speak-to-them-or-utter-their-names-ever-again type.
Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
ONE LAST QUESTION
Are you happy with your life right now?