Trifecta – Baby

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Trifecta’s big 99th challenge, 99 words exactly with one word from the displayed pages of the Oxford English Dictionary.  Word choice: baby. 

The sun, bright, without warmth, sliced a line across the tile.  The best price viagra bitter pill, familiar and well-worn.  She grasped it gently, examined it from all angles, like a rare and terrible artifact.  She sighed, her breath a thin reed, and brushed it off her shoulders deliberately, like a downy skiff of snow.

Her body moved, mechanically, through the fabric of the day.  Corners of the mouth turn up here, foot moves in front of foot there, heart stutters on without pause.

The idea, the preposterous arrogance of an entitled life.

A baby.  At her age.  What a silly notion.

 

13 Comments

  1. I like the grown up angle of the story’s POV, and the word choices. Well written, joules

  2. Gorgeous, lush writing here, Joules! I love the image of “the fabric of the day.” You packed a hell of a lot of emotion in here, wrapped in a kind of numbness. Beautifully done.

  3. I love the way you use words, to describe her thoughts. Thoughts which seem to be at odds with her emotions.

  4. Love the use of the fabric of the day.
    Feel like I could have a coffee with this woman.

  5. You captured her emotions well. A baby is supposed to be great news, but at a certain age/stage in life, I think that changes.

  6. The pill like a rare and terrible artifact… what a great line. I love the feel of this, light yet serious. Beautifully rendered. And I love your avatar on the grid.

  7. Oh my-this is so,so beautiful!The words are sheer gems and the way you have woven them into this gorgeous necklace of thoughts is amazing!I read this one at least thrice,savouring the feel of each word soaked in emotion :-)This time voting is going to be tough-so many delightful pieces!

  8. What I love most in this is your juxtapositioning, not just in the life and situation of the character, but your wonderfully chosen words: the “bright” sun that isn’t warm; her “preposterous arrogance” versus the “silly notion”, grasping “gently”. Clever, very clever, yo.

  9. hmm, dark. You have your adjectives down. I want to know more.

  10. Beautiful writing. Her words capture her mixed emotions about this ‘silly notion’ of a baby. A lovely read.

  11. Oh. Oh it was wonderful and luscious, that is the word I had in my mind when I finished.

    I take a lot from pieces like this, because of my infertility it always feels like a baby is a silly notion, or an impossible one.

    the line about “the fabric of the day” was so eloquent I stopped reading and just let it sink in.

    what a beautiful write.

  12. You write so well, keep it up xxxx

  13. The writing here is so spacious and engrossing. It’s almost like you caressed each word before placing it down.

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