Friday Fluff – Druthers

What badass mamajama started the Friday Fluff craze that’s sweeping the nation?  Lisa from Seeking Elevation, that’s who.  But the kickass Jester Queen is running this show today.  Jump on in, the water’s fine.

This week’s survey was created by:  Dani05

 flowers, purple, painting, simple, canvas - Purple Flowers IIArt by elisaann

Be a poison tester or suicide bomber?

Poison tester.  At least I’ve got a 50/50 chance of living.  And not being a total fucking douche.

Fat and short or fat and tall?

Like freakishly tall?  Because that.

Wet and cold or dry and hot?

I’m not really a fan of either, but it’s winter in Portland and I’d pay good American dollars for some dry heat right about now.

Vampire or a cat?

Is this a question?  Do I want to be a vampire or a cat?  Do I want to own a vampire or a cat?  Do I want to be eaten by a vampire or a cat?  Cat, vampire, cat.

Be george lopez or brad pitt?

Brad Pitt because his lady is so sexy.

 

Eat sand or dirt?

Dirt is less filling AND tastes great.

Be 30 or 1?

Years old?  You are so ambiguous.  I’ll take 30 for $1,000, Alex.

Pro skater boarder or singer?

I like me some skater boards, but I’d be a singer if I was gifted with a good voice and the balls to get up there and sang.

Eat metal or bugs?

Seeing as how I’m a vegetarian, metal.  Or seeing as how I’m a human, bugs.  Maybe I should just stick to booze and call it even, tequila worm negates Goldschlager flakes.

Be a monkey or wolf man?

You’re making me a little stabby, can we at least keep the inanity in one genre?  Like say, wolfman or vamp?  In your horrible scenario, wolfman.  Because:

a)I’ll be a man and finally suss out the actual awesome factor behind the whole stand up pee thing.

b)I’m already wild, meltdown hormone lady once a  month and I can’t really see much difference.  Other than the lusting for the taste of blood issue.

c)Monkeys enjoy throwing their own feces and, while I enjoy a good poop as much as the next gal, I like to leave it where I dropped it.

Work at google or bing?

What’s bing?

Make a board game or video game?

Now, I love a good board game.  That is some good, clean family fun right there.  Also, some good, clean adult fun if played the right way.  But the youth of today hardly even know what objects are if they’re not virtual.  I’d go where the money is – video.

Mini cooper or mustang?

Dead or alive?

I choose life.  I have ever since the early 80′s when Wham! informed me it was the way to go.  I’m sticking with that answer until I get further intel from George Michael.  I will also accept guidance from Andrew Ridgfield, provided he has notarized documentation that GM is also in agreement.

Singer or actor?

I cannot think of anything that I would NOT rather be than an actor.  This is, of course, excluding any and all professions that have anything to do with the handling or throwing of fecal matter.  Obvi.

End on a stupid question, get an awesome video.  Double fantastic win time for Y-O-U.  Welcome to my world.  Uhh…no.

http://youtu.be/hrnOCEXfdMo

6 Comments

  1. what’s bing? bwahahahaha

  2. ZOMG. I had not seen the Jolie Mockup. Well played photoshop. Nor had I seen the Mommy Shorts Shit Toddlers say. (“I’ve seen the Suburban Snapshots one)

    Your answers are da bomb!

  3. Oh man, “leave it where I dropped it” made me snort.

  4. Geez a bunch of you really thought about the feces throwing thing and really put me off wanting to be a monkey can I at least be a monkey with access to hand sanitizer?

  5. She does phenomal plié.

  6. I love how feisty you get with the writer of the questionnaire! You tell em girl!

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